Commonplace Book

what are you willing to be loyal to say, do and think so as to continually craft a moral life in the face of the culture of death. Do not explain why, do not prioritize, do no rationalize. What will you be loyal to?

How will you avoid distraction? This is stupid. The actions and inactions are not trivial.

Hedge of Heaven Farm (Transmit Holdings LLC)

Tumblr as cur|cre -ator
How does one live a moral life in a culture of death. This death is not a symbol, not a metaphor it is the actual death of bodies. The refusal to acknowledge the existing deathworks is also the failure to recognize demons. How does one live a moral life within the culture of death? Don’t use platitudes and psychological/sociological reasonings to explain the culture of death. Do not attempt to rationalize the pervasive denial situated in the vain hope of the experts doing their jobs. The culture of death is best apprehending in our modes and methods of refusal to give up our despair and our incoherent renderings of “a good life.” Our refusal to commit and our applause of nihilism. Our willingness to slaughter and our ignorance of idolatry. The culture of death is not the mistakes of so-called sin but are precisely located in the in-action of wrongly ordered thoughts and the feelings and the actions that distend. The center cannot hold. The daily quotidian tasks of commitment and fidelity are scoffed at. You know the culture of death is opposed if your are made fun of for loyalty.

A small amount of blood, mixed with water and ink/pigment from burnt wood rubbed on stick.
pen made from reed, brush made from grass, bark or woven grass, pounded.
Two or three words (small piece of bark)
Haiku on larger piece of  "paper",
You must use what is there.
Thorns be pins to hold the "paper" to a tree, a plant.

Video the production
Video the assemblage
Tape the camera to your head.
Then, walking towards the art, go from the wide angle scene to the macro reality of the painted" surface" of the work.

Anything found on site is fair game for assemblage. The collecting of which should be documented.

How to get the blood. Do you shoot something on site?

Beauty is always under attack from nihism (the no! not this, you cannot have that, if you do that you will be sinning, if you wear that you will be evil, the no, no, no of the culture of death.

Nihilsm is in two forms  Ecstatic, revolution, violent terror-laden and the horizontal,  disarming, unstable philosophy of irony, sarcasm, negation, too cool for thatness.

How then shall we live in a world that is so evil and so much suffering, all of which comes from our I-am-ness. As soon as we say I am, then evil is present. But Christ redeemed the I am and our born againess is that I amness is holy (ghost). Beauty

if god exists, then the evil permeating the world is none other than infinite, all-consuming, and never-ending. There is no peace and the war is NEVER OVER. We battle against principalities and powers. flesh and bone, blood and semen, cracks and mortor.

Blood poetry sex magik fairie house, goldsworthy/dogma 95 slow poetry and peter beard beauty.
Hire models from ICT. model mayhem. NO! Just my body. as it is. as it is, so it goes.

abstain from food, sex, alcohol. Pray and fast
Must be local. West lake has power, Sand Creek Trail has power, The tree east of the house has power. Military park has power.

transgression and the grotesque as proof of the incarnation.

slow poetry like slow food. Local, aware, taste, sensual.

back at her house to paint. She is an attorney
I have brought a hummingbird feeder, blown glass and a wrought iron hook stand. There is a long bar in the back yard and I am painting/staining shelves. There are other workmen there and I know them from the last time I was here with the bird book. I am supposed to drive her son to an army post on the equator in florida. I talk to him at a quik trip. There is a girl soldier getting gas going to the same place but he doesn't want to go with her. I do not want to take him.

I meet some other people and an old man want to join the group of workers at her house. He is a retired WSU professor. The workers hold a prayer meeting. I take off my hat first. Nothing is said.
The old man shoes up, some women join us, it becomes a coffee clatch at a restaurant, we talk golf.

I talk to her daughter, my last visist was helpful to her. She liked the bird book. She is not home, I am using to find the ID of a hummingbird that is rufous, but irridescent. I have to work really hard to get her phone number into my Iphone.

Pulchritude of cowgirls
Such music would certainly not transmit the classical idea of beauty – the presence of the Whole in the fragment – by way of harmony or ordered numerical relationships. Yet it could render the no less pregnant idea of beauty as the Whole irrupting into the fragment and the fragment opening itself to be embraced in the depths of the unsayable Whole; and this by way of interruption, negation, surprise, silence, no less than of harmony, measure, and relationship”

blood: science is concerned with the facts of its substance. I am concerned with its value to communicate meaning.

Blood must be part of everything. Slow-po work myst be written in blood, on the inner surface of bark, found on site in a dogma 95 kind of way. The video must show the collection of blood as well.

The photographs I take, must be printed and assembled with blood, wood, stone and glass. Also a mirror must be presented.

I can collect blood from myself? Do you have the courage? Sterile needle?

What does it mean to be in tension between ethical choice and aesthetic moment? lovers unable to attain the beloved is the lot of poets. Always wanting the words to do what they cannot. So we mangle them as steel in a forge and shaped as on an anvil to do the work. The shaping and mangle and heat are rythmn, rhyme, sound and silence. It is not a dialectic and it is, it is not separate stages but it seems that way, the "double talk" of paradox and the war of satan and god in the undefineable experience of beauty. The tragic and the comic, the omnipotent God revealed through impotence.

Double thoughts (metaphor) Therefore tragic, Beauty remains tragic, marked by ambiguity, the situation of struggle and paradox the object of choice, value and ultimately submission to authority. The authority of Word, the Authority of Truth, the VIA.

only the one that loves finite form (the signifier? or sign?) as the revealation of the infinite (two-fold universe) (pagan) (everything is potentially a sign) and most important, the denial of the profane, because properly read (discerned) everything is sacred: this chosen belief, after the encounter with the essential tragedy of humanity renders us mystic and aesthete.

I penetrate beauty./possess it with my gaze, my senses I own the experience of something that has been made special. It also possesses me and it makes it way with me, it is ravishing and altering. Once experienced you are never the same. The lover and the beloved and intercoursed.

The choice is to abandon oneself to the triumph of nothingness, nothing means anything, signs have no meaning, value is subjective, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, or choose to be a soldier in the army of the lord, the hero's journey, the reaction and resistance, the partisan and underground fight against principalities and powers. Principalities are institutions not human but treated in the eye of law has having human rights (corporations, denominations, governments) and the powers are ideas (memes).

This power to choose only comes after the dark night nadir of despair and the uncompromised realization that I-am means I-cannot overcome the evil in the world and in my heart.

expiation is the new theme, to take the suffering on and into oneself. That beauty expiates me. I take the suffering into myself as God did.  staying within the contradictions of double thoughts, paradox, dialectic, ethics and aesthetic choices, discernments and prophesies.

Incarnate Flesh in which the Whole makes a dwelling in the part. (container, house, temple, cup, box, and bowl metaphor.) The notion that a word is a suitcase of meaning. The notion that a "made-special" contains within its parts all of the definitions of beauty we and those that have come before us have attributed to the sublime.

Incarnation is NOT analogy. To speak of God, the wholly other is to always use an analogy. It is the least inadequate way.

Something made special is always the least inadequate thing. Something beautiful is always the least inadequate.

avoid the romanticism trap. Feeling and passion cannot overwhelm the tragic reality of ethical behavior in that we must wrestle with what is the right thing to do, the right action and always be ready to confess what we do as wrong. Romantics justify all action as good and noble because the individual is acting in what feels right.

The experience of beauty is liminal, threshold like, aweful, and inviting. Ecstacy is optional...
However, thresholds are always a defeat, always less than desired, the reality never lives up to the hoped for thing. Beauty is defeat. We cannot have the beloved and our limitedness is revealed, our inadequacy made known and this is dispair.

You must have experienced a despair caused by your love of beauty. The high that can never be gotten again. The hoped for love that cannot be regained.

The experience of beauty as a path that must be walked so as to directly lead us to despair so that then the decision of faith can be made. Chasing down the desire to be transformed by beauty, to fight for her, leads to despair, how could it not? From this broken pride comes the decision to believe. Anything less is just a facade for a borg-like creature, not yet fully human, a Golem, a vampire, a husk-person colonized by demons and ruled by the prinicipalities and the powers.

Resistance is required. Resistance is futile, long live the resistance.
Desire is required. Desire will be defeated, long live desire.

The cost of kissing me is your life, What a bargain!

make special is an acknowledgement of the value of an experience, an object, or taste.
The desire to make special is the desire to create, generate, fertilize, grow, plant, make, craft (verb)
The experience of something as a "made-special" is a two-fold movement the object is read by us as special, some movement in us towards something other, the movement is one of attraction, desire, ecstacy, anticipation, flirtation. We want to participate somehow with the made special. at the same time it penetrates us, it goes deep with us, it attracts us to it.

If the made special can penetrate us then it can change us in ways we may or may not want. This is dangerous to the american christian.

If the made special is incarnation

She is a young woman in a green shift standing in front of me and above my head. She maybe standing on a step or on a block of stone. She is outside, facing east. I tie her hands and forearms together in front of her so as to squeeze her breasts inbetween her upper arms. As I hold the red string, yarn really, down by my waist with my right hand, I lick and suck her nipples through the green jersey cloth and at the same time my cheek, lips and tongue meet with the skin of her upper inner arm. This is pleasurable to you.

blood and oath
Blood and membership

Desire, holy ghost

if I answer the question of how to live a moral life in the culture of death with a list of not this and not that, no to this and no to that then the culture of death has won and I am a lost, broken, drunken old man. The answer, as charles bowdes and molly bloom say is YES, Yes, YES.

yes to beauty and the risk of being penetrated and taken somewhere
yes to food that tastes good
yes to the body and to the work that makes it beautiful.
yes to teaching others to think YES

Swimming pool.
with power cover and solar

sing out loud newton, put a bunch of pianos in public places painted by artists.

How bad do you want it?
Will you give up the shit...

bicycle and helmet and a way to ride to school and home.

canoe, good rack without all the straps, storage rack and tarp.

tweed rides!
cargo bike plus farm market?

st. matts a bike church

it is not about street photography because it tickles you, but you cannot control
it is not about field photography because it is something you can do, but cannot control
What about still life, studio, controlled, composed, and zen-ish simplicity?
*shinobu's on flickr

Table top, glass, cool tones, zen aesthetic, wabi-sabi
Ring light, slide box, white table, art paperss
histogram for white

SloPo bike spoke cards. Hand printed, covered with packing tape.
Newton, Poetry, Haiku Spoke on Etsy.
Spoke Haiku
Jesus Spoke (prayer cards) (buddhist, Xtian, Wiccan)

Do you really want to be a hipster? Transcended Hipster/straight Edge/Farmer/Anarcho Punk.

There must be blood involved.
Animals and decay
Travel journey/diary/collage form
On board. On tree ring
Transfer sex image as base
lots of glue

How much I love farmers markets

Because what it means to be human cannot be reduced
Because humans are imagio Dei
Because we are new creation
Because Gnosticism is heretical

Aristotle says that we are what we repeatedly do. Therefore do the work you have been given to do.
Do sex
Do art
Do justice
Do food
Do Compassion
Do Worship
Do Prayer

What we do is both sin and blessing at the same time. We discern and ask and somehow in our particulars it is made just.

We are left with metaphors. This is that and this is not that.
In fact all descriptive, analytic, explainatory and cataloging language is metaphor.
Maybe the only reductio absurdia we can say is humans are metaphor constructors and consumers.


July Goal
    New Garden Beds Constructed
    Clothes for School
    EFM group organized and materials ordered.
    Online Assignment Calendar Done
    Slow Poetry Event planning done
    Decide what to spend prize money on

End Of Year Goal
    Do something with HotTub
    Cut down trees
    Remove stumps
    Move shed to slab

One Year Goal
    Operational Greenhouse
    70% of food close to home
    2 chapbooks
    One article published
    185 lbs.
    Sand Creek Slow Po Celebration
    Food Storage in Basement

Five Year Goal
    Handmade/No Internets
    All food by me or known by me
    170 lbs
    Walk or bike
    4th Annual Sand Creek SloPo Party

Looking  and trolling for a project.
Sexuality explains the Trinity
Eroticism as Holy Ghost
Handmade everything
Getting rid of Internets....

Lost anchors

Anchors remaining
Mary Anne

In the diamond age, the artisans approach to the feed was??

What does it mean to find beauty and it is not "an ideal, not sublime, not perfection/\?
And if the subject matter is not "idealistic/imaginative/sublime, then the execution, technique, choice of materials, presentation, and exhibition context must be admirable...

Much of the internets is about perfection, life improvement, information and good instructions being the requirements to set you free and gaping at the idealism of your perfect lifestyle.

altered books, artisanal work, in custom made box. Hinged and locked.... skeleton key (large)

Large books, cut and bound, painted, altered, embellished, adorned, collaged, then stiched, put into a custom box and locked. Adorn the box?

I think hats are going to be important.

Reject the hipster uniform of cargo shorts, Lewbowski shirt and sport sandal/birks.

Reject the old white guy of chinos and lewbowki shirt and leather shoes

reject the utilitarian jeans, polo and trainers as well.

What oh what to whear?

tight tight jeans and boots
black suits

must have hat, shoes and belts for the funk.

the desire to posess (consumerism) is fear of death, therefore death

the desire to alter the consciousness is fear of death, therefore death

the desire to categorize, sort and classify is fear of death. but necessary for life

To be human is to be inbetween. Real and real.

Art is a transmitter. Or a door, or a portal, or a transporter.

Look closely. see christ crucified. Everywhere, everything, everyone.

The aesthetic is multi-sensory. Object.

is vintage camera/film the way to go?


old books
swimming bool

Collage photo/paint/word/blood/ALA peter beard.
jars and paper labels in jars/old book pieces

wabi sabi

sell on etsy?

distress photo prints from walgreens. Transfers to rag and bone....

bones in jars

Find old glass stuff and jars and stuff. garage sales

glass containers

poems in containers

Slowpo walk with poames in containers. With tea lights/luminaries/candle jars from church

Terrerium/bell jar/orchids/specimens/antique glass with handmade wood bases, mini worlds
mini greenhouses, decadent wabi sabi images

TO go analog? Completely analog?

Did I just say that it was the only way?  Better read diamond age again....

Why is the quest for beauty a problem statement for you instead of a solution state?

The movement of the soul is insulated? encapsulated, enmeshed within?

the tension between

beauty as evil seducer and taker/succubus of the attention rightly given to god


beauty which proves incarnation, transcendence, revealed truth and is to be sought, fought for and died for....

Why would modern art seek to destroy beauty? Because it is a problem to depict ugliness in beautiful works. A beautiful work depicting squalor and disease is still beautiful right? Just like a bad song about God is still a bad song..... hum..... but the image of a thing is the thing and original participation is at a different level. A category error I thin,k.

Slow Po Sand Creek
Continue bird watching, but depricate bird photography
expand street photography
expand macro photography

expand gardening
expand cooking
expand landscaping

look for land purchase.

upside down squirrel
sudden skin sunflower(s)
eastern empathy

The eroticism theories of religion. Incarnation
enfleshment of Word (We speak our skin) We speak our adornments

exchange of incarnation and sacrament
vital and significant

We are enfleshed in a created physical world. Skin on skin, Skin with air, with water, with fabrics, with ?

All physical reality points to its cause

Mimetic desire of Rene Girard

Twilight bounces between lovers
Translation of common words fail
Reading birds for signs will not heal
damaged frenums, strapaddo adictcs

Assuming for a second that I have the gift of prophecy and the gift of wisdom, then why has the gift of faith been absent? Are these gifts mutually exclusive? Perhaps the gift of faith is just in the doing of the daily tasks.

Create, Connect, Create, Connect.

Bonnie prince charles is the way of the future. The dance of the intimates, the lingerie of the satisified. There is but one way to the father and that is from the mouth of his daughters.  These mouths are hungry and open for fucking.

There must be a sexuality to it. Attraction, urge, tug, want and an eroticism that is the subsurface not the only thing presented. In the same way an odalisque is presented, that is the presentation of the desire for beauty.

Is the sorting and classifying just another kind of fucking? Is it just another notch on my guitar exercise. Why the attraction? It is just a hunter=gatherer type of adaptation.

Appropriation of some other kine kin kind of trophy. Am I a trophy hunter... Yes I want to possess.

There isn't anyway to work this out with the whole money thing.

What are the priorities?

Paint Kitchen No money
concrete work slab, retaining walls, Critter floors, compost pad.
Landscape/Gardens/Greenhouse/Shed Move/New Shed
Shade house
Bower porches
    altered books
    altered scenes
Screen print
potter wheel
Paper making
trench water and electric (220) 60 amp install new service disconnect on NE corner. Move wire from Hot tub to new. Trench from service disconnect to shed. Install panel a, b, and c.
Stand pipe water, plumb into wash sinks a and b
Solar power or wind power would be better. but not there yet.

There is an approach to doing the work of identifying flora and fauna. I don't want to continue to do the scientific approach of classifying, sorting and knowing great deals of facts. This is the given floor of knowledge.

The scientific approach does not begin to sexplain beauty.

I would rather work with these things within the domains of Beauty, wabi sabi, photography, videography, painting, sketching, ceramics, aesthetics and humor.

What are the working tools of a poet-botanist/ornithologist?
What is the approach?
Slow poetry is touching on it.
Presentation is touching on it
Fashion model is touching on it but backwards

Walking backwards is touching on it as well.

Micro Flora
Faces without photoshop
touch on it.

what is wrong with ID sorting and sifting guides is that they do not like to grapple with ambiguity, paradox and poetic aesthetic.

Dave Eggers is touching on it.
Creativity and ideas

There are certain objects that "contain" beauty. Does this mean I am a curio neo-victorian cabinet of curiosities kind of a guy? Do I have to possess and categorize in order to possess the noetical?

Is the noetical necessarily mimetic?

If you are a soldier in the army of the Lord, then what is your mission?
Beauty must be protected from sin, disuse, perversions
Evil is the perversion of the Good.
What is commonly called perversion is not
What is commonly called holy is perverse and what is commonly considered protection is disuse.
natural processes associated with aging are not disuse
sin is missing beauty, overlooking and discounting
Hell is the rape of beauty unprotected This is a sexual sin

So if you are a disciplined soldier in the army whose banner is Only worship Beauty
and you so wish to organize your life in the service of  and protection of 

Beauty, and you want your activities to be oriented and situated in the creation of, transmission of, teaching the ways of, and encountering Beauty, then what is there to do?

Where is it to be found? Flora and Fauna, human body, Music, and Mimesis

If the creative impetus is a imposition on natural law/monolithic "machine first" ontop of the environmental process, in face any MONO in not of the father, any dyad is not of the Faith, it muyst be three. The aesthetic imagination

It doesn't seem too unusual to create, generative, build, construct something. the father energy to create ex nilho. this is the desire and urge and action of making special. Homo aestheticus

The aesthetic integrity of the created object, the colors, the skills, the tradecraft, the make craft is the energy of the Son. It is the incarnation of Word into object. Word made flesh, Idea made concrete, the logos made observable, touchable, smellable, tasteable, tangible, object. (do words count?

The aesthetic appreciation of the made special object by others is the work of the Ghost.The connections and recognitions of aesthetic value.

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